Ballad for the Beavis

To the tune of "Jingle Bells"

In the customs line
The official bobs his head
“You have no visa stamp!”
“Get out of here!” he said
F*** F*** F***

Jay is in Hong Kong
Wasting precious time
What fun his group is having
In the backwaters tonight--OH!

CHORUS
India! India!
Jason needs a beer
Vegetarian only
He’ll cry big manly Tears
Eh!

Finally Jay arrives
10 pairs of shorts in tow
Dodging piles of shit
Everywhere he goes
F*** F*** F***

At India Gate
Attracting lots of stares
All the school boys pose with him and pickpockets are scared OH!

CHORUS
India! India!
Jason needs a beer
Vegetarian only
He’ll cry big manly Tears
Eh!

Late night rendezvous
With a raja dressed in drag
Hungover morning
Leads Big Jay to lag
F*** F*** F***

Caravan heads out
Mobile call comes in
Jay left his passport in the room
A round of beers on him--OH!

CHORUS
India! India!
Jason needs a beer
Vegetarian only
He’ll cry big manly Tears
Eh!

by Maria Haverhals Andersen & Leah Haverhals
February 2009